Raindrops
by bittasummer
Summary: 3-Parter, set roughly after Fear Her. The Doctor needs Rose to infiltrate an intergalactic therapeutic planet that has been sending out a distress signal. However, something goes wrong within the equipment and Rose is reverted back to a younger self, before she ever met the Doctor. Discontinued.
1. yellow sundress

**One  
**

_yellow sundress  
_

**::  
**

"Tell me why I'm doing this again," Rose said with annoyance as she and the Doctor casually strode into the white building before them. Each side of the building rose up with modern elegance and became a point at the top. The white building shone with a kind of metallic that was blinding if several of the planet's suns reflected upon it the right way. Rose turned her head to let the Doctor know she expected an answer when she found him already staring at her. Well, staring at her dress more like. She couldn't help the teeth-wielding grin that followed.

Rose hadn't been thrilled that right after saving the world from a lonely Isolus the Doctor had intercepted a distress signal, all the way from the planet Harmony in the Poteranus Galaxy. That wasn't completely odd, they received distress signals all the time, but this one was so much more important because apparently, the planet Harmony in the Poteranus Galaxy was one of the only places in the entire universe that shouldn't be giving off distress signals. Like the name suggests, it was a place of Harmony. Therapeutic harmony.

"In Earth terms, this whole planet is one big psychologist's office," the Doctor tugged on the end of his ear nervously, "Like an alien psychologist, except they're more advanced, of course. They have all sorts of equipment here; repressed memory finders, repressed memory enhancers, memory cleaning, technology to deal with past issues, anxiety disorders, phobias, fears… Anything that's psychologically wrong with your mind, they have everything they need to cure you."

"Like mental illnesses?" Rose frowned, "Because my uncle Benjamin has split personality disorder, maybe a quick—"

"Mental illnesses _are _illnesses," the Doctor quickly cut Rose off, "They're hereditary, developed, triggered, they require medication. This is all about dealing with unresolved and traumatic issues from your past. They're able to dig deeper into your unconscious mind, the part that you can't even access. In here, it really is all in your head. Haven't you ever wondered why you're scared to ride elevators alone?"

Rose threw him a look, "I'm not scared to ride elevators alone, thank you very much!" she paused, "I guess there was that time in New Earth when you went up without me and I had to ride one alone and I was fine with it… Of course it led me straight to being possessed by Cassandra, but that's water under the bridge," she frowned, "Why do people say _that's water under the bridge _as a phrase for letting something go? Was there once a time when people literally threw water under a bridge to—"

"Nice diversion," the Doctor nodded, resisting a smile, "Don't you remember? When you were three years old, Jackie took you shopping and while she was taking a phone call, she left you in the elevator and you were so impossibly scared, do you remember?"

Rose shook her head slightly, her frown deepening, "I don't—I don't think so… Wait a minute, how do you know this?"

"Cassandra went inside your head and she roamed freely there, even into the unconscious part," the Doctor shrugged lightly, "And when she went into my head, I got all the information she got from your memories, couldn't really help it. Remind me to teach you how to block your memories off one day, that'll be useful."

"Okay, skimming past the invasion of privacy, how am I supposed to block out all the information that I know about you and the TARDIS?" Rose said, "I'm assuming that's the reason I'm doing this instead of you, and even though I'm not all Time... _Lordy_ or whatever, I still know things, about the Time Vortex and Bad Wolf and… you."

"That's why you'll be wearing this," the Doctor produced a gold bracelet from his long brown coat, "DNA coding bracelet from my home planet, all but one in existence, just like me. It's linked to the TARDIS so whatever they're accessing inside your head, I'll be able to view it too, from the TARDIS and since it's coded onto the wearer's DNA when they're wearing it, I can override their technology and block everything TARDIS and Time Lordy out."

"Hold on a minute," Rose stopped walking into the white-themed lobby, stopping the Doctor as well, "You expect me to let these aliens prod inside my head for unresolved past issues, giving you a front row seat as well? I hardly think so, what if I think of something embarrassing? What if the alien wants to talk about the time I lost my virginity or something?"

"Jimmy Stone, I know," the Doctor muttered disapprovingly.

"How do you know?" Rose gasped shockingly. She reached over and whacked him across the arm, "What else did Cassandra pass onto you?" she didn't wait for him to answer, "No, see this is exactly why this can't happen! My first time was only supposed to be between me and Jimmy Stone and that god awful music he insisted to play! Oh my god, did she show you me and Mickey?"

"Moving on," the Doctor tugged at his ear anxiously, "I'm sorry Rose but there's no other way. What if they're doing something harmful to the patients here? Somebody sent out that distress signal for a reason. If I didn't have to lock my mind away I would be the first one in there but if the wrong people were to get their hands on all the information I know, they could rewrite the history of the universe, so let's just put things into perspective shall we?"

"Can't believe you pulled the 'save-the-innocents' card," Rose grumbled under her breath as she grabbed the gold bracelet from the Doctor's hand and shoved it onto her wrist. "Least it matches my outfit" she muttered, glancing back down to her dress, the yellow colour striking boldly against the white interior of the building. Like she guessed it would, the Doctor's eyes travelled back down to the dress unintentionally, "Something the matter Doctor?" Rose asked innocently.

The Doctor's eyes snapped back up to hers in an instant, "Absolutely not," he smiled widely, "You're awfully yellow today aren't you?".

"Don't you like it?" Rose pouted mockingly. She gazed down at the strapless yellow sundress. A slot of smooth yellow fabric slid across her chest, fitting snugly so it wouldn't drop without the support of straps. From her waist down, the short yellow dress filtered into thin waves of tiers, stopping mid-thigh. Her smooth shoulder length blonde hair fitted in nicely with her pouty red lips, light tan and the sight of much uncovered skin. When she had tried it on, she thought about Queen Victoria and how appalled she would be at the sight of such nakedness.

The closed toe patent yellow heels had been a choice of whim. The thought of almost matching the Doctor's height was teasingly fun but it had been thirty minutes since they'd left the TARDIS and she was staring to regret them. What about all the running that might be necessary if anyone found out she was here under not so innocent terms?

"Doctor?" Rose asked again when he hadn't replied.

"Mm, yeah, sure, right," the Doctor nodded quickly, "Anyway, just focus on the task at hand, don't get distracted. Also, you'll need a genuine reason to be here, you can't just lie about having father issues, it has to be real, and it has to be deeper than a fear of elevator," he paused casually and then said, "Maybe you could talk about a phobia you have? Or a time when you were scared you were going to die? Or a nightmare perhaps?"

"I'll work something out," Rose replied absent-mindedly.

"Great. Now the bracelet will enable me to see whatever they're doing as well so if they're doing something they shouldn't be doing, I'll know," the Doctor nodded.

"I hope this bracelet also works as a teleport" Rose muttered, "Otherwise how will I be able to escape if I need to?"

"I don't know," the Doctor shrugged casually, "Why don't you distract them with the piece of cloth you call a dress?"

"You're still rude and not ginger," Rose folded her arms across her chest, trying to resist the urge of blushing, "Well, do me a favour and block out my intimate memories and fantasies as well as all the Time-Lordy stuff. And no peaking."

"Yep," the Doctor replied in a high pitched tone, "Sure, no… peaking," he watched her walk off to the main desk, enjoying the gentle sway of her hips against the dress as she went. And then, as if nothing had ever happened, the Doctor spun on his converse heel and strode out.

"Hi, I'm Rose Tyler, I made an appointment via psychic paper this morning," Rose said to the red skinned humanoid receptionist behind the main desk. The receptionist glanced up at Rose, smiled widely — presenting all two of his teeth — and pressed a button on the desk. A hologram popped up with a picture of the message the Doctor had craftily sent mere hours ago.

"Okay Miss Tyler, if you'd like to go up to the 45th floor and show them this," the receptionist handed her a pink slip of paper with the number 0.678 written on it, "They should take you right away. Is this your first time using Harmony's systematic memory-processing facilities?"

"Yes," Rose nodded, trying not to look as out of place there as she felt, "Sorry what's your name?"

"Beeb," the receptionist replied, "Nice to meet you by the way. I think you're our first ever _human_! We don't get many around here, with the general population of the human race not yet having ventured into space yet! How exciting that'll be when humans finally do that! How exactly did you get here, Miss Tyler?"

"Vortex Manipulator" Rose blurted out, "A Time Agent friend of mine came back from the future and... died. So I got his manipulator."

"Ah yes, the Time Agency, heard rumours about them, scandalous how they ended!" Beeb replied, "So, tell, tell, is it true? Did you witness it?"

Rose hid her confusion quickly as she adopted the Doctor's nervous habit and tugged at her ear anxiously, "No, no, the rumours weren't true… Completely untrue," she composed herself and grinned, "So, 45th floor then? Stairs are…?"

"Elevators are that way," Beeb pointed to the right where a row of elevators lay, "We don't have stairs here"

"Course you don't," Rose murmured under her breath, "Okay thank you," she said to Beeb and walked off to the nearest elevator, "Come on Rose, you're fine with elevators," she sighed to herself and reached out for the elevator button. The elevator doors opened and she stepped inside an empty space and pressed the button that said FLOOR 45.

Rose sucked in a sharp breath as the doors closed behind her.

**oOo**

The first thing that got Rose about the office she was shown to was the number of chairs in the room. That was test number one in a human psychologist's office. At the top of the room was an official black chair, presumably for the psychologist or whatever they called it here with other chairs spread out among it. Opposite the black chair was a neat sofa and next to that was a stiff wooden chair, like one you might find at a dinner table. Across the room was a beanbag, designed for child's play. At the other end of the room lay an inflatable chair and next to that an old couch chair, like one you might find at your Nan's house. Why was there so many chairs?

Rose couldn't help but look around nervously as the man who had greeted her by the name of "Dr Ackmund Joil" settled comfortably in his black chair. Rose eventually chose the neat sofa and sat down, looking forwards with hesitation written all over her face. Dr Ackmund Joil had no notebook or pen or any kind of note-taking equipment. All he had was a long white scientist coat and an unnerving smile.

"You're not very comfortable opening up to people are you, Miss Tyler?" Dr Ackmund asked suddenly, his piercing eyes trying to slice the barriers she was so used to having up.

"Not really," Rose twiddled the gold bracelet around her wrist, "My friend actually suggested I come here, said the treatment was out of this world."

"I imagine for you, it is," Dr Ackmund replied with a smile, "Why don't you tell me why your friend suggested you come here?".

Rose thought about what the Doctor said, about giving a genuine problem and wanting to stick as close to the truth as humanly possible she opened her mouth and said quietly, "I keep having this recurring nightmare… There's a Beast, and he tells me I'm going to die, I'm going to lose everything and then someone tells me a storm's approaching… I've been having the nightmare every night for the past week."

Dr Ackmund leaned forwards, "What kind of Beast?"

"You wouldn't believe me even if I told you," Rose murmured, "I never see his face, or his body, I just hear his voice, like he possesses people…" she forced a nervous smile, "And he tells me I'll die in battle."

"And the person who tells you about an approaching storm? Is that the Beast also?" Dr Ackmund asked.

"No, that's someone else," Rose answered, "A friend… A stranger really, well no, well…" she trailed off, lost in her own thoughts. The Doctor wasn't a stranger in the sense that he knew everything about her… but he was a stranger in the sense that she knew next to nothing about him.

"Have you experienced any traumatic incidents lately?" Dr Ackmund said with a frown.

_Only if you include facing Satan himself_, Rose thought to herself. Then she replied, "I thought I had lost someone, quite recently actually. I thought I was never going to see them again, I thought I was all alone… but, it was just a scare," she fingered the bracelet affectionately, "Story of my life, all these little scares, terrifying, but never really doing any damage… Now I guess I'm just wondering how long I can carry on with these near misses… When is my number gonna be up?"

"Yes, it's a sad fact that human beings live such short, fleeting lives," Dr Ackmund nodded, "All things end and all things die, even intergalactic aliens."

"Such as yourself?" Rose replied.

"Yes, such as myself," Dr Ackmund smiled. He paused, "Taking in everything you've told me I would say what you're experiencing is entirely normal for your species, your nightmares are coming from a very basic fear of losing your life and quite clearly losing someone you love."

Rose froze, hoping with all her might the Doctor wasn't tuning in right now.

"I would encourage you try out our Regressor," Dr Ackmund added, "It's completely safe and designed for helping our patients to face their fears and accept what must be inevitable."

"The Regressor sounds like a gun" Rose smiled nervously.

"It's a machine, always supervised by one of our technicians. You sit in one of our confined cabins, place the Regressor's transmit beam over your eyes — it's like a pair of goggles — and once activated, it transports you into your past memories, to where your issues regressed from and you confront them," he paused, "I must warn you, it's one of our most advanced machines, I wouldn't recommend it unless I thought you were absolutely capable of handling it."

Rose paused. The bracelet would protect the Doctor's secrets but what about her own? She wasn't here for therapy, she was here to find out where that distress signal was coming from… which means she'd just have to play her part, down to a T, "The Regressor still sounds like a semi-automatic but whatever, I'll give anything a go."

"Ah, the Time Agency Motto, I see you remember it." Dr Ackmund smiled.

"Knew Jack got that from somewhere," Rose muttered under her breath, remembering Jack's past words of _I'll try anything once._ And oh yes, he was a man of his word.

"Please, follow me," Dr Ackmund stood up and began to walk towards the door at the other end of the room. Rose followed after him, walking through the door that led onto an even whiter room. In front of her were several cubicles in a row, all pressed together. At the side of the room many other men and woman in white scientist coats were working away at a large control panel, "Our technicians monitor every step of your journey, and don't worry, once your issues are resolved, your memories are simply deleted from the software."

"Do you know what might help?" Rose blurted out, "A different colour, I mean, white's all very calming yes but after a while, you just sort of go a bit mad," her eyes widened, "Not that I'm mad, although you might see some mad memories but that's all really because of my Time Agent friend. Or maybe there won't be mad memories, maybe…" she sighed, realising Dr Ackmund was staring at her, "Or maybe I'll just ramble like a lunatic."

"Don't be nervous Rose," Dr Ackmund reassured her as he gestured to one of the cubicles, "Everything is completely safe here."

Rose smiled falsely and walked over to the cubicle Dr Ackmund was pointing to. She slid inside and closed the door behind her. All that was there was a white comfy chair and a pair of plastic goggles sitting on them. Rose picked up the goggles and sat down on the chair. She brought the bracelet up to her mouth and hissed, "Doctor, you better be listening, if you invade my memories in any way or let those crazy white people — yes I know how that sounds — see my _most_ intimate moments, I will make sure the possibility of you becoming a father again very, _very _impossible, got that?"

"Put the goggles on Rose," Dr Ackmund's voice floated into the closed cubicle from across the room.

"Oh god," Rose mumbled as she slowly slotted the goggles over her eyes and waited nervously. A moment later, the lights within the cubicle powered down with a hum and the only thing illuminating the small space she was in was the glowing goggles. Rose opened her mouth to ask if this was normal but stopped, when she felt herself being sucked into her mind, into her past.

It was like she was watching a movie - of her memory - and she could see herself and feel her emotions but she couldn't do anything to act independently. She was being subjected to watch, helplessly.

"_I told you! I told you, Rose!" Jackie screamed at her daughter, "I told you to sit your A-levels but no, you had to swan off with that stupid musician, Jimmy Stone! And now you're telling me you think you're pregnant? You're too young to be a mother for god sake, you can't even look after yourself!"_

"_I told you I was late on my period but I did a test, it was negative," Rose wiped at her wet eyes and red cheeks harshly. "I know it was stupid and I'm sorry, I'll go to the Doctor's tomorrow and ask for the pill."_

"_Excuse me?" Jackie whirled on her feet, "I thought that low life buggered off to Amsterdam with some slut called Noosh? And now you're telling me you'll go to the Doctor's and get the pill? What the blooming heck for? Is this what you are now Rose Tyler? A slut?"_

"_No, I just meant-for the future," Rose spluttered, trying to control her breathing. Running off with Jimmy Stone had been the worst mistake of her life. The only qualifications she had were GCSE's, she had lived in a bed-sit for four months and now she was in £800 of debt. And then he had just dropped her like that, and ran off to Amsterdam with a girl called Noosh. _

"_Please, what future do you have?" Jackie scoffed cruelly, "Don't think you can go running back to Mickey Smith, he was broken-hearted when you dumped him for that low life! All he does now is drive around in his little car, looking depressed and stumbling out of the pub drunk! You know what you need? You need to go to college, get your A-levels and then go to university, that's the only way you'll ever get anything out of life, trust me!"_

"_Mum, will you just shut up!" Rose exploded with anger, "All I wanted was a hug from my stupid mother but all you've done is criticise me! I will get something out of life, I will! And it'll be more than A-levels and more than university and more than a white picket fence and a husband and a stupid career! It'll be something much more than that, it'll be… fantastic!" she screamed the last word, grabbed her jacket and stormed out of the flat._

When Rose thought the grip the Regressor had on her mind would let go, it didn't. She could feel it moving… strangely. Moving… moving somewhere else, looking for something else. Then she was sucked into her own mind again.

"_Rose!" Shareen Costello threw her arms around her best blonde friend with a huge grin on her face. "Oh my god, I haven't seen you in a year! Jackie said you've been off travelling the world, with a sexy older man."_

_Rose felt herself blush, "It's not like that."_

"_Then why are you blushing like you've just ran a marathon?" Shareen wigged her eyebrows suggestively, "Oh my god, you've fallen in love! Flipping hell, have you told Mickey? Poor bloke's still walking around, acting like you two are still making the beast with two backs!"_

"'_Making the beast with two backs?'" Rose grimaced, "That's disgusting! And since when have you been reading Shakespeare?"_

"_I read! Thank you very much!" Shareen grinned back, "But seriously though Rose, what's going on with you? One minute Jackie's completely convinced you'll make a husband out of that mysterious Doctor you're travelling with and then two seconds later she's out slagging him off, apparently he's devilishly dangerous, tell all!"_

"_You know my mum, she's so dramatic" Rose rolled her eyes but her stomach was doing twists, "And he's just a friend, really, a good, good friend, I mean yeah, he's attractive but he's all work, all the time, trust me, sometimes it gets a little exhausting, he hardly ever sleeps."_

"_A Doctor who tours the world with a younger female and all he does is work?" Shareen gave Rose a pitying look, "Oh god, then he's gay! All the best ones are, and if he's a Doctor out working in third world countries then you never know what you're going to pick up, do you? Maybe you should come home, your mother is so_—"

"_I can't leave him," Rose suddenly cut her off, "And yeah, he's a Doctor and he helps people but most of the time, we're not visiting third world countries. I can't leave yet, it's too exciting. I'm in too deep."_

"_You're in love!" Shareen declared with a triumphant grin, "Flash him the twins and the skin, then you'll know if he's all gay or just swings both ways. Hey, I made those rhyme!"_

"_Well done Shareen," Rose burst out laughing, "But no! I would never do that, he's the Doctor, he's not sexual in any way, I don't even think he's ever had sex, he's all shop talk, all the time."_

"_I doubt it, your mother claims he's as gorgeous as they come," Shareen smirked, "And gorgeous men aren't virgins. Come on Rose, what are you scared of? Rejection?"_

"_Yes," Rose admitted, "I'm scared he'll look at me with disgust and drop me back on Earth quicker than the light of Feint times the gravity of the Metric-D system…" she trailed off when she saw the confused look on Shareen face, "Quicker than that," she snapped her fingers together and forced a smile on her face._

"_Well," Shareen cleared her throat, "Maybe I have news to cheer you up. Guess who's back in jail, again?"_

"_Don't tell me, it's big and gross and rhymes with Himmy Fone?" Rose broke out into a teeth-wielding grin._

"_Bingo! Apparently Jimmy was just trying to 'return' the old lady's purse back into her pocket, yeah right!" Shareen replied._

"_What a loser," Rose chuckled into her cup of tea, "So glad he dumped me when he did, if he hadn't, I might not have met the Doctor."_

"_Oh yeah, that reminds me," Shareen began, "Doctor? Doctor Who?"_

"No!" Rose tore the goggles from her head and threw them on the floor. Why wasn't the gold bracelet stopping memories of the Doctor? Why were they leaking through? Didn't the bracelet work? Rose grabbed the nagging sensation in her chest as she sat up and let out a deep breath. If the bracelet wasn't working then who knows what those people could have viewed after that if she hadn't of tore the goggles off when she had.

Then the wave of nausea hit her. Oh god, what was that pain in her head… What was that noise… Oh god, she was going to be sick! She was going to… What was that buzzing? Why was everything so white? Where was she again? Her vision was blurry, if only for a moment and then everything was back into focus.

A second later, her cubicle door swung open and Dr Ackmund stared down at Rose, "Miss Tyler, you ended the Regressor prematurely, do you even realise how dangerous that is? Is your memory still intact? If you remove the goggles before the de-sensitiser scans your Medofolic brain waves then sometimes you can _literally _regress backwards, to an earlier stage in your life, you will forget years of memories… Miss Tyler, are you listening?"

Rose gasped and raised her head slowly, her eyes narrowed in suspicion, "Who are you? Where am I?!"


	2. blue box

**Two  
**

_blue box_**  
**

**::  
**

"What the hell have you done?!" the Doctor's voice thundered into Dr Ackmund's office. His brown jacket flowed up behind him as he power walked towards the suddenly scared alien therapist, "Where is Rose? Where is she?!" he scanned Dr Ackmund's office and saw she was nowhere to be found.

"The technicians are trying to calm her down, she's quite worked up," Dr Ackmund suddenly jumped up from his chair and raised his hands in a surrender-like motion, "Doctor, I'm so sorry, I don't know entirely what happened—"

"It's all my fault," the Doctor ran his hand through his brown messy hair, "I shouldn't have lied to her, I shouldn't have made up the stupid distress signal story! I just should have told her the truth! It's all my fault, she pulled the Regressor off mid way because she thought she was going to reveal my secrets!" his foot shot out in anger and he kicked the end of the sofa.

"Doctor, you acted as any concerned friend would," Dr Ackmund said quietly after a moment of silence, "Your friend Rose has been suffering from nightmares, ever since your encounter with the Beast, yes?" he saw the Doctor nod and continue, "Then all you were doing is nudging her in the right direction, trying to help her. You shouldn't feel badly Doctor."

The Doctor shook his head, "No, I should have just talked to her, I should have told her the whole reason we were here was for her, and that it was fine to regress into memories that contained information about me."

"She wouldn't have come, Doctor," Dr Ackmund said sadly, "You know it yourself, a person as strong as Rose wouldn't have held her hands up and admitted to having a problem… From the brief outlook of her memories, it seems like you two never stop running, never looking back… She was acting like you."

There was a brief pause and then the Doctor's tired eyes glanced back up, "From the DNA coding bracelet I gave her, I was able to watch her memories as well and stop you from seeing any of her intimate moments, like she asked and the last memory she saw was from 6 months ago, when I took her home to see her mother and her friend… Is that where she is? She's still Rose, isn't she? She's just lost a couple of months, right? She's still the Rose who remembers me changing, at Christmas?" when he saw Dr Ackmund's face his hearts sank a little, "How far back has she regressed?".

"Rose has reverted back into her seventeen year old self" Dr Ackmund sighed deeply, "She's still in high school, going out with a twenty-two year old called Mickey Smith. As far as I can tell, Mickey's grandmother has just died and Rose has just met a new friend called Jimmy Stone, through her best friend Shareen Costello. That's where she is in her life, she thinks she's been kidnapped and we're holding her here against her will."

The Doctor almost lost his footing. His let out a deep breath, "Four years? How could she forget four years of her life? She won't know who I am, she won't remember…" he shook his head in a daze and asked, "There must be a reversal process, you must be able to fix this!"

"We're trying Doctor," Dr Ackmund replied with a heavy sigh, "But it's a lot harder than it sounds, the brain is so delicate, especially a human one and until we receive the right kind of Medofolic brain waves to de-sensitise her brain scan we won't be able to reverse it."

"Well find the right kind of Medofolic brain waves!" the Doctor barked, "They're easy enough to find, go to the nearest black market and trade your Pey's for them."

"The planet Harmony can't be involved with any black market dealings Doctor, you know this, we're a place of healing," Dr Ackmund shook his head, "The next shipment is due in within a matter of days. For now, I suggest we sedate Rose until the shipment comes through. Once we fix her memory, I'm sure this will be something you will both look back on and laugh at."

"No," the Doctor growled, "You will not be sedating Rose of any kind. She must be terrified out of her mind and you want to go and drug her? Absolutely not. I'll explain everything, I'll tell her this is all my fault."

"Doctor, physically she's twenty-one but mentally, she's seventeen," Dr Ackmund shook his head softly, "I know you are uncomfortable with this but my advice is to sedate her, she won't have to panic—"

"You will show me my Rose Tyler right now or I will shut you down," the Doctor said through gritted teeth. He watched as Dr Ackmund strode over to the other end of his office and opened his door. Quickly and silently, the Doctor strode after him and walked through the door into the room of Regressor cubicles. Tied to a chair, sitting in the middle of the room, was Rose. Dry tears were still visible on her cheeks and she had never looked so terrified and yet so bold at the same time.

"Who the hell tied her to this chair?" the Doctor demanded, striding forwards.

"She was trying to attack my staff, she was going to hurt herself, what else would you have had me do?" Dr Ackmund replied steadily.

Rose swallowed the lump in her throat. This new stranger, this tall, skinny man with the long brown coat and the pin striped suit was standing behind her and suddenly she was scared all over again. What the hell was going on?

"That'll be enough of that," the Doctor bent down behind Rose's back and began to untie her bounds. With every heavy sigh he produced she realised she was closer and closer to freedom. With one knot left the Doctor stopped and walked round to face Rose, who leaned away from his presence.

"I'm the Doctor," he whispered painfully, trying to hide the hurt in his eyes at the vacant expression on her face, "You're Rose Tyler, correct?"

"How do you know my name? Why are you holding me here?" Rose asked with wide eyes and frowning eyebrows, "If you're a Doctor does that make this place a hospital? What am I doing here? I'm not sick."

"What's the last thing you remember?" the Doctor stopped himself from reaching out and touching her cheek with his palm.

"Raindrops," Rose gasped, "Raindrops, on my bus window on the way home. It was a Tuesday and after school, Mickey picked me up and we went to see that new Jennifer Aniston film and then he kissed me, for the first time. And then I got on a bus home and watched the raindrops fall down on the window, like I always do because it's _always_ raining," a few spare tears fell from her eyes, "And then I was here."

"I am so, so, sorry Rose Tyler," the Doctor said sadly, "This is all my fault."

"What's all your fault? What the hell is going on? Why can't I remember being kidnapped?!" Rose suddenly burst with anger, "Did you drug me with some kind of memory-erasing drug?! How long have I been here for?! Where am I?"

"I'm an alien, a Time Lord," the Doctor answered her suddenly, "I met you when you were nineteen years old and I took your hand and I said 'run' and we haven't stopped running you and I… We've been running for two years, you and me together, travelling all of time and space, saving civilizations and defeating villainous creatures, being chased by Demonic Ood and Satan himself and hell, we even met Queen Victoria, she loved you, well… I say loved I mean—"

"Help!" Rose suddenly screamed, struggling in her chair to get away from this madman in front of her, "Help me! Please help me! Please! I'm too young to die!" She watched with frightful eyes as the Doctor slowly backed away from her and the technicians rushed over to tighten the rope.

"Rose, I know this is hard to accept but what I'm telling you is reality" the Doctor said in vain, "We came here, under false pretences and something went wrong with the machine. This is really happening—"

"Let me out of this chair and I'll show you what's really happening!" Rose barked at him.

"Doctor, this is getting us nowhere," Dr Ackmund stepped forwards, "Perhaps—"

"I'm taking her to the TARDIS," the Doctor interrupted him, "You can let me know via psychic paper when the Medofolic brain wave shipment arrives."

"As you wish," Dr Ackmund nodded, "Someone get Miss Tyler a straight jacket please."

"What?" Rose's head snapped up with shock, "No! No straight jacket! What the hell is going on? You're sick people, all of you, sick!"

"The straight jacket won't be necessary," the Doctor stepped forwards, feeling a stab of pain when Rose tried to back away in the chair at the sight of him coming forward, "Rose."

"Stop saying my name like you know me." Rose said harshly.

"Just think happy thoughts and breathe," the Doctor reached out and placed his fingertips upon her temples. A moment later, her eyes fluttered shut and her body went still, "You sleep Rose," he murmured, "Just sleep."

**oOo**

Rose jerked awake violently. She glanced around and saw that she was in someone's bed! A girl's bed, by the looks of it. She made sure her clothing was all still in place before she jumped out and headed for the door. That's when everything normal ended. The second she left that average bedroom she was confronted with several winding corridors and steps and golden interior that looked nothing short of futuristic. She looked left and right, trying to get her breathing under control.

Whoever had kidnapped her had clearly drugged her again and moved her, here. Now all she had to do was find the exit door. Before, she was in a white-hospital themed place… with a thin man who called himself an alien and now where was she? This golden themed place looked nothing like the previous room she was in. What the hell was going on? Rose crept on forwards, down a row of steps and around another corner. God, how many corners where there in here?

All she had to do was either find an exit or find a phone. Preferably both. She stumbled down a few more steps and stopped short when she saw what was around the next corner. In the middle of the room was a circular console and a tube leading down the middle. And there he was, standing in his long brown coat and pin stripe suit, staring at her with the most unreadable eyes. Rose gulped. She was almost about to turn back and run the other way when out of the corner of her eye she spotted two narrow doors.

The way out. Chancing everything, Rose ran down the ramp, skidded past the railing and threw herself at the doors, yanking at the handles. They didn't budge. Her heartbeat began to pound over time when she turned around and saw the thin man, just staring at her, like he knew her. Rose pressed her back against the doors and told herself not to cry. She wasn't going to show weakness to her captor.

"You're wasting your time with me." Rose found the deep bravery in the pit of her stomach. The man — who claimed himself an alien called the Doctor — smiled ever so slightly and went to sit down on one of the old tattered couches, "I mean it," her voice strengthened, "I won't fall in love with you over time, like Stockholm Syndrome, or whatever creepy shit you're into, I already love Mickey Smith, my boyfriend, and he loves me back."

The Doctor said nothing.

"And if this is some weird virgin sacrifice thing, well, think again," Rose tried to yank the doors open again to no avail, "Because I'm not one so, you can't use me, I'm impure, I hardly think your Satan god or whatever would like that."

"Rose, if you must lie through your bare teeth, try come up with something a little more plausible," the Doctor replied with a humourless smile, "Rose Tyler, seventeen years old, going out with Mickey Smith. Just recently met Jimmy Stone. That's who you lose your virginity to."

"Oh my god, you're a stalker as well as a creep!" Rose cried.

"I didn't know the two were mutually exclusive," the Doctor muttered under his breath. Then he glanced up, "Rose, I'm not lying when I say I know you, we travel together and have done for two years… You've just lost your memory, four years of it to be exact. You call me the Doctor."

Rose shook her head and placed her hands on her hips, "You're telling me I willingly travel with you; a supposed alien, through time and space?"

The man nodded.

"Where's your spaceship then space man?" Rose snapped.

"We're in it," he gestured around.

Rose froze and looked down to her feet and then back to the strange man, "Why are you called the Doctor? What's your name?"

"Don't have one, it's just the Doctor," the Doctor replied.

"I can't believe I'm dealing with an arrogant self titled psychopath!" Rose cried suddenly, "I really know how to pick them," she shook her head, "I must have got off the bus and you kidnapped me while I walking from the bus stop to my flat… What did you use then _Doctor_, chloroform?"

"I'm so glad I didn't meet you until you were nineteen," the Doctor muttered.

Rose let out a deep heart wrenching sigh and she swallowed the dry lump in her throat, "Look, whoever you are, Doctor… Please let me go, I have a mother who can't function without me and a boyfriend who adores me… Please, just let me go."

"Rose, I couldn't take you back to the timeline that you're in, even I wanted to, because your _real_ seventeen year old self is there, where she should be. You're the twenty one year old manifestation of Rose Tyler, if you two were to ever meet or touch, it would cause a paradox and rip apart the foundation of time," the Doctor shook his head, "God, I know this is hard, but you're where you should be, I promise."

"Do you not hear yourself?" Rose screamed at him across the distance, "You're insane, whoever you are! This is crazy talk! You're not an alien! I'm not twenty one! And this is not a spaceship! This is probably the basement of a very suburban home where you live with your wife and kids only they don't know that you go around kidnapping teenage girls!"

"Now you're the crazy one," the Doctor replied, "I would _never_ get a suburban house."

Rose screamed in frustration and grasped her head with both hands, "If you don't let me out, I will find something very sharp and stab you to death! I don't care if it's murder, you're holding me here against my will!"

The Doctor let out a deep sigh and stood up slowly, "Okay… Okay… Let me show you something, let me prove that I'm telling the truth, will you let me do that? Please?"

Rose hesitated.

"Rose," the Doctor whispered, "Where can I take you that's worse than this?"

"You get one chance to prove you're telling the truth," Rose said suddenly, "And if you can't then I want to go home, okay?" she waited, "Okay, Doctor?"

The Doctor nodded, "Okay. Follow me."

**oOo**

The Doctor was at the other end of the room he'd shown Rose to before she would step in after him. It looked a bit like a library or an office, she couldn't really tell the difference. She slowly crept inside the room, scanning around for anything that looked more out of place than the strange prison she was already in. Once she saw nothing that seemed out of place she stepped wholly inside the room and looked to the Doctor expectedly.

"Well?" Rose glanced around the library, "Show me the proof."

The Doctor walked over to one of the book shelves and picked out a photo album, designed in the shape of a 1960's blue police box. The detail in the front and back of the album almost made her smile. The curves and dips of the police box and the window were like padded blue fabric and it looked old, so, so, old. The Doctor held it out to her and she reached out cautiously to take it from him. Glancing up to his position where he stood she made sure he wasn't going to take a step towards her when she slowly opened the album up.

He watched her, like a hawk as her eyes fell down on the first page. It was a picture of herself, an older version, holding hands with a tall, well built man in a black leather jacket. Her mouth fell open with shock. She didn't remember taking any such photo! How could he possibly make this true? Was it Photoshopped? "Who is this?" Rose gasped, shaking her head in disbelief.

"That's me," the Doctor answered honestly, slotting his hands into his pockets, "As an alien, I have a way of cheating death. When I'm about to die, my body begins to regenerate, I literally change into a new body, a new man, a new personality, but my mind, my soul, my essence, my thoughts… they stay the same."

Rose was speechless.

"See for yourself," the Doctor added.

Rose, having nothing else to say, turned back to the album and turned the page. On the back of the first page was another photo, of herself and of the black leather jacket man again. This time she was dressed in old Victorian dressing. On the opposite page was another photo of herself and the black leather jacket man, this time they were in the place she recognised the large circular console to be, dancing. She flipped through the book, losing all rational thought and breath.

A photo of herself and the leather jacket man in a church, a photo of herself and the leather jacket man walking arm in arm, a photo of herself and the leather jacket man outside a blue 1960's police box, a photo of herself and the leather jacket man in her own flat with Jackie and Mickey. She nearly dropped the album completely when she suddenly noticed the change of pace in photos. The next multiple pages of photos included herself and the tall skinny man before her, the one called the Doctor.

Most of these photos included them smiling at each other, holding hands, running through windy hills, joking with each other. Then she came across one that almost made her gasp. Before her, was a photo of herself, pulling the skinny Doctor down in for a kiss. Rose looked back up to the Doctor with tear soaked eyes, confusion written all across her face. Could these photos be true? Could he really be an alien and she his willing travelling companion? Could they really be on an alien planet, waiting for something important so she could get her memory back? Or was this just a cruel trick?

"Please be careful with that," the Doctor noticed her sudden tight grip on the album. He reached his hand back out for it and she gave it back, her hand shaking all the way. The Doctor stared down at the current photo it was open at with a slight smile, "This is an enchanted book, you know," he closed it over and let his fingertips run over the front, "It's from my home planet, it psychically links to the owner's memory and implants any photos the owner finds important. There must be a hundred photos of you in here."

"I look old," Rose couldn't help but whisper.

"You look beautiful" the Doctor couldn't help but scorn her. He walked back over to the book shelf and slid the album back into place. He hesitated, "When you get your memory back, you're going to kill me for this but…" he bent down on his knees, pulled up a part of carpet flooring and plunged his hand inside the hole under the carpet, pulling up a small black diary, "This is where my Rose—where you hide your diary," he held it out for her.

Rose took it from his hand and opened the diary, dying to see the ink on the paper. She opened her mouth in a silent gasp, "That's my handwriting."

"It is," the Doctor nodded, "I swear I've never read it, I just happen to notice things, it's a gift, a curse actually," he took a step towards her and she stepped back instinctively, "I'll let you read in private," his eyes avoided hers as he swept past her and left the library. Rose let out a gasp as he went, reaching out to lean against the nearest book shelf.

After a moment of quiet, Rose walked to the back of the book shelf and slid down onto the floor, opening the diary. She turned to the first page and read her own handwriting, the words she couldn't even remember writing.

_The Doctor bought me this diary so I can write down my memories here, so I never forget them. I hope he doesn't doubt taking me with him, it's amazing here. He's amazing here. The spark with Mickey is gone and all the feelings inside my heart are reserved for someone else now. The Doctor. A Time Lord. An alien. And still, I can't break Mickey's heart and leave him. I did that once, with Jimmy Stone and look how that turned out. I almost crushed his soul, yet my own soul is being crushed as well. Every time he takes my hand and says "Run" I just melt away inside. He's ignited something in me and I don't know what it is, or how to stop it. I don't think I want to stop it._

Rose, with wide eyes, flipped on a few pages.

_He hugged me tightly when we realised we'd survived the bomb. I could feel every inch of the 903 year old alien against me and I loved it. God, he makes my heart thud so erratically it may burst from my chest at any moment. Does he realise what his touch does to me? Does he even know what fantasies invade my mind? Is he even sexual at all?_

Rose's fingers skipped ahead.

_I am Bad Wolf. I create myself. I am Bad Wolf and he is a mighty God. That's all I could hear going through my mind before the heart of the TARDIS opened. Then… nothing. I can't remember anything, all the Doctor told me is that I am Bad Wolf and I absorbed the Time Vortex and no human in supposed to do that. Yet I didn't burn, not yet. So I caused the Doctor's death, his next generation. He absorbed the Time Vortex and it killed him. I killed him. It's so odd, getting used to him, his new voice, his new face, his new hand… He's so different._

Rose let out a deep breath and continued on a few pages.

_Cassandra knew what I wanted and she acted on the very thought I was scared of. I knew everything, I felt the kiss as much as he did or she did but he… Of course he acts like it never happened and maybe that's the way it should be. After all, a human and a Time Lord? Is it physically possible? In my dreams it is. But he didn't address it. He just took my hand, hugged me and held me close, like always. For a telepathic race he is so intimate with me… sometimes I wonder if… No, it could never be._

A few more pages on.

_So there I was, stuck, on a planet that shouldn't exist, under a black hole. I knew the only thing I should want was to see my mum again but it's not. It's not what I wanted at all. All I could think about was taking the Doctor's hand and pulling him into a storage unit and telling him how I really feel. If we were going to die under Satan's hand then I wanted to feel him against me, I wanted him to feel me. But he didn't stay in one place, as usual. He chased the Beast and saved the innocents and left me to agonise over his death. Maybe that's the way it should be._

Another entry.

_The nightmares won't stop. I keep having them, of the Beast. He wants my blood, he wants to kill me. He wants to take me away from my Doctor. I pray that never happens. I love my life now. Before, there was no meaning in my life and now, all I see are possibilities and stars and planets and amazing things… Impossible things. As strange as the thing I do know not._

The last page.

_I love him._

Rose shut the diary over and leant her head backwards, trying to process everything. The photos… The diary… Her handwriting… Could this all be fake? Could this Doctor be telling the truth? If she'd lost four years of her life of course she wouldn't remember of any these but… There was something about that skinny man that was drawing her in and making her doubt her previous judgement.

He had eyes like a man who had witnessed fire and pain and things most horrible. And still, even though his presence was dangerous, he was intoxicating, and she knew it. Seventeen years old mentally or not, the Doctor's attractiveness had not gone unnoticed. Rose stood up, still clutching the black diary as she headed for the door.


End file.
